I didn't think I'd cry again. Not for a long time anyway. I'm hardly the wide-eyed newbie fresh out of school. She cried in pain when I tried to examine her while her husband sobbed at her distress behind me. It was only when I sat down in the office to write that I realised I had to get up and leave. I went and cried in the toilet. I felt like shit. I didn't expect to feel like shit. Or give a shit. She had had the maximum pain relief given to her without resulting to escalating doses of intravenous morphine. It seemed overkill to give IV morphine for muscular back pain. The 4 hour A&E target was looming and if I resorted to giving her morphine, she would need to be admitted. And I knew that everyone from the bed manager to my consultant would slaughter me for admitting her. If I did manage the miracle of getting her accepted by the medics.
The only advice my senior could offer me was to ask the patient to try alternative therapy like warm compresses or accupuncture. Hmm....yes, great advice to a 70 year old who can barely move at 6 o'clock on a Sunday evening.
I kept my face blank as he added, "And remember, the best pill you can give your patient is yourself.
What?
"Reassurance is the best pill you can give your patient. Reassure them that they are in the best hands, that the pain will go away, that she won't die from muscular back pain. Reassurance. You are the pill."
Who do you think I am? Freaking Derren Brown? No wonder I went to cry in the toilet.
I did what he told me to do anyway. I've never been very good at keeping a straight face when I lie, though I suppose she was in too much pain to notice.
Later, I was bustling down the corridor having just told a drunk that no, he couldn't sleep here, when the lady's husband called out to me from their cubicle. He wanted to tell me that his wife thought I was very nice and had been really patient and helpful. I plastered a fake smile on my face.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
The only advice my senior could offer me was to ask the patient to try alternative therapy like warm compresses or accupuncture. Hmm....yes, great advice to a 70 year old who can barely move at 6 o'clock on a Sunday evening.
I kept my face blank as he added, "And remember, the best pill you can give your patient is yourself.
What?
"Reassurance is the best pill you can give your patient. Reassure them that they are in the best hands, that the pain will go away, that she won't die from muscular back pain. Reassurance. You are the pill."
Who do you think I am? Freaking Derren Brown? No wonder I went to cry in the toilet.
I did what he told me to do anyway. I've never been very good at keeping a straight face when I lie, though I suppose she was in too much pain to notice.
Later, I was bustling down the corridor having just told a drunk that no, he couldn't sleep here, when the lady's husband called out to me from their cubicle. He wanted to tell me that his wife thought I was very nice and had been really patient and helpful. I plastered a fake smile on my face.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
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