Skip to main content

The plot stops here

The downside of lending my mum my books is she always asks me the ending when she isn't even halfway through reading them yet. I get terribly agitated when she does this. I don't know why I get so worked up about it, it's stupid I know, but it's difficult to control my distress at her illogical behaviour. Especially when she does it in the car when I am already stressed driving around Morons & Their Metallic Weapons of Death.

My mum also never introduces her topic properly i.e. "You know in So-and-so book that you lent me, what happened to Mr. So-and-so in the end?" I could have been talking about the price of roti canai in KL when she jumps in about whether the lightflyer is like in The Stetsons.

She leaves me floundering in confusion while I dodge a Moron & His Metallic Weapon of Death who has cut across my lane before I figure out that she's talking about a book I lent her a week ago.

"You mean The Jetsons," I say.

"No, no, The Stetsons," my mum adamantly says.

"Ma, Stetson is a type of hat. The cartoon with the flying cars was called the Jetsons," I tell her.

"Oh."

More death-defying driving ensues.

"So, does Kareen marry Mark in the end?" she asks.

"Who?" I search my memory, which isn't too good nowadays. Have I got friends named Kareen or Mark? Maybe my sisters have? "Oh, you mean in the book. Uh, no."

"So, she marries someone else?" my mum asks.

"No, she doesn't."

"What, do they break up?" my mum persists in asking.

"Ma, why don't you just read the book to find out?" I was getting distressed at this stage.

"Why do you always get upset when I ask you the ending?" my mum asks in annoyance.

"I'm .... not.....I just......"

"You only have to answer 'yes' or 'no' to my questions."

"But that's the thing!! I can't! You're not asking me yes or no questions, you are asking me the plot of the story." I clutch at the steering wheel.

"So, do they break up?" my mum asks again.

"Nnnnngggg....no. They don't. They just stay together. They don't get married."

My mum hems and haws. You can see her mentally ticking Kareen and Mark off her list of Good People.

Wait till she gets to the part where a woman has a sex change operation. Hah.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Oh introduce Mama to Marian Keyes' Anybody Out There.

best chick lit i've evet read. I know she'll love it and plenty of mystery for her to try to get you to spoil for her.
Kere said…
She can get her own chick lit, for heaven's sake. What am I, some kind of dealer?

Ooh, someone's reading lurrve stories. I wonder why? Ha ha, nyer nyer.

Popular posts from this blog

A letter to the makers of Supernatural

(Dean and Sam doing a Mulder and Scully) I watched the latest episode Night Shifter yesterday and I have got to say that, in American speak, it was totally awesome. Now, because I am not the most eloquent of writers and because my brain is half-man, I shall put my points across in a list. What I like about Supernatural so far: 1. The two brothers. Yum mee, keep those two brothers coming. Especially Dean. 2. The fact that Sam and Dean constantly take the mickey out of each other. 3. Dean's one liners. "I don't do shorts, sweetheart." 4. Dean, because he is so hot. 5. The fight scenes where they use everything they've got: guns, crossbows, knives, bare knuckles, head butts. 6. The things they hunt: demons, murderous ghosts, vengeful spirits, vampires, satanic preachers, backswood crazies, telekinetic murderers. 7. The beautiful, haunting cinematography. 8. For making classic rock cool again. 9. Sam's 'guilty conscience for surfing internet porn'. 10. A ...

December's list

MUSIC Thanks to Maryam for the delights of this month's music. Be patient, Maryam, the world will one day see our special dance. 1) Presidente - KINKY . Singing in Spanish somehow makes everything sound sexier, even if he is singing about politics. Despite the oblique accusations of corruption against the Mexican president, this song is dance-floor hot and guaranteed to shake your booty. (I only use the word 'booty' online because in real life I would never get away with it.) 2) Let's Make Love And Death From Above - CSS . Bizarre title but the song works. Perfect for when returning to the home planet. 3) Ladylike - STORM LARGE & THE BALLS . They've got a name that is just dying for you to make dirty jokes about, but subject matter is serious to all girls who get the mickey taken out of them for not being 'ladylike.' Incidentally, Storm Large was one of the contestants on Rockstar: Supernova. MOVIES Surprisingly, I haven't watched many movies this mo...

Avast!

I was at the Maritime Institute in Jalan Yap Kwan Seng waiting for my dad to come out of a seminar becauseI needed the keys to take his car for repairs and servicing. So there I was twiddiling with my handbag in the corridor when the doors of the seminar room opened and a whole bunch of fit men in tight, white Royal Navy uniforms came out. Hubba-hubba! Unfortunately, my dad came out at the same time and started talking to me. All I could do was stand there with MY DAD while all these hunksome sailors passed me by. BAH! They're all probably too old for me anyway.