I'm Not Asleep, My Eyes Are Just Closed

Many, many years ago, when I was still young and starry-eyed I dreamed of becoming an author. The type of author who wrote the books that I loved. The kind of author I fiercely admired. But then other stuff happened, and reality set in. Even if I did do a different course at university, even if I did work in something related to writing i.e. journalism, editing, etc, I'd never really have a talent for writing the kind of books I wanted to write. I can't even tell a story or a joke verbally much less make a coherent story last 300 plus pages. At some point I thought, maybe if I had enough life experience, then I'd have something to write about. (Yeah, life experience, what is that anyway?) Then I realised, there was nothing unique about my existence to make it worth writing about, and certainly not special enough for anyone to invest money in it. Sure, maybe my life is interesting to me sometimes, or to certain relatives and friends, but one cannot base a career on that. At

It's funny how looking at some things make me inexplicably happy. I'm looking at a picture of him grinning and I'm grinning myself. I can't even remember how or when I developed a crush on him. I mean, he wasn't even my favourite *NSYNC-er back in *NSYNC's heyday - I thought JC Chasez was too cheesy, too earnest, too typical of the blue-eyed, all-American boy bander to be attractive to me. I preferred Chris Kirkpatrick with his dark eyes, dark hair, scowly face, ripping sarcastic comments but surprise, surprise, oh so angelic voice. At some point in the last month, I was hit by a bout of nostalgia and spent my time trawling through You Tube and listening to my old records and BAM! It hit me - JC Chasez is frikking hot. Like pour cold water on me now kind of hot. Even hotter when he had the longer curls instead of that awful crew-cut military do in the beginning of his career. He is sex on legs, and I bet he knows it. Ok, so he's less sexy now but he