I'm Not Asleep, My Eyes Are Just Closed

I had forgotten The Winchesters for a bit (well, they left me first!), what with other obsessions taking root and then me moving town and starting a new job and clocking up to 100 working hours a week. Thankfully, the hours have eased a little and I haven't passed out in a coma everytime I come home so I get to spend a little more time with my favourite brotherly duo. The first epsisode of Season 3 was a disappointment to me, honestly, when I watched it a few months ago, and it made me run back to my new television hero, Dexter Morgan from the equally terific TV show Dexter (why is it terrific? Because the hero is a crime scene investigator for the Miami Police by day and a serial killer who chops people up at night. Woo!) But on this recent vacation I've had the chance to get reacquainted with the Supernatural guys and forgive me for losing the faith the first time around because aren't they just the most adorable couple of wise-cracking, world-saving hunks you ever set ...

Once upon a time, I had no idea how I was to survive the end of the Supernatural season. First, there was the anxiety over whether there would be a third season. When confirmation came through that there would indeed be more of The Delectable Winchesters, I couldn't believe how long I had to wait for the next season. But the television heart is resilient - it finds other ways to fill the void. It limits its visits to the Supernatural website and slowly weans itself off The Brotherly Medicine. It finds other television shows to like, other forms of entertainment to obsess over. Time flies when you're having fun, and lo and behold, it is now October and the first episode of season 3, entitled The Magnificent Seven , will be airing in the US tomorrow, the 4th of October. My 'ardent admiration' for Supernatural has faded a bit but I am keen to see what happens next. How will the Winchesters dig themselves out of the hole they've dug themselves into? How much ragging wil...

In conjunction with the end of Supernatural Season 2, I will be doing a (nearly) blow by blow account of the two part finale, All Hell Breaks Loose , to exorcise its demonic hold on my higher brain functions. For the same price, I’ll throw in my razor-sharp analysis of the episodes so that all of you readers can ooh and aah at my insight and biting wit. Here we go. All Hell Breaks Loose Part One opens with a “Previously, on…….” montage, titled The Road So Far , complete with classic rock courtesy of Boston , and Bobby’s gravelly voice warning the Winchester boys, “Storm’s coming. And you boys, are smack in the middle of it.” As if they didn’t know. Although I do know what has been happening, the spooky, urgent strains of the opening music sent chills down my spine as we furiously flit by reminders of the psychic children, the Yellow-Eyed Demon’s plans for them, the impending war and finally Dean’s scared confession, “Dammit Sam, this whole thing is spinning out of control!” Ah, Dean,...

Aaah, after having to do so long without the Winchesters, it eased my heart to see the Now part of Episode 20 What Is and What Should Never Be concentrated on the lovely brothers instead of some extra nobody cares about who will die in the next two minutes. Any heart easing went down the drain soon after because this is an episode of Manly Winchester Angst designed to make crazy fan girls feel even more sorry for our suffering heroes, specifically our old man Dean. Now let me tell you that our man Dean looks less pasty and puffy here than he has in most of the episodes in Season 2. And it looks like the make-up artist has been bundling them off to the tanning salon again, judging by the fact both boys are getting a bit of colour on them. Sam also looks surprisingly..... preppy, what with the pastel coloured shirt and carefully blow-dried hair. Anyway, a djinn is the monster of the week and Dean falls into his evil clutches when the djinn grants Dean’s unspoken wish and transports hi...

Forgive my being overdramatic when I say that I have been in paroxysms of agony for the past week because I have gone Supernatural cold turkey. I have missed TWO episodes of Supernatural (the really exciting end of season ones) and I did not even have old episodes to tide me over because my laptop has been in the shop all this time. I have not even dared to go to an internet cafe in case I am tempted to look at spoilers. Sitting morosely in front of the television, I eventually resorted to the bored and lost's cure: The Bold and The Beautiful . Only half an hour of it, and I was snapped out of my reverie. My God, that show is sick! There's this woman who marries the patriach of this family, then she divorces him and marries her stepson, divorces the stepson and steals not only one husband from her own daughter but two husbands, the second husband who is actually her stepson's half brother, then gets rid of this guy and goes back to the stepson!! And the family, for som...

WAAAAAAARRGGHHH!!!! Having just watched the promo for Supernatural Episode 21 All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 , I have not only bitten off my fingernails, I have gnawed my fingers down to my knuckles. Sam getting skewered like a kebab! Dean howling in agony! Manly tears all around! (clutches blanket) Will the finale be like Season 1 where we are left to ponder whether any of the Winchester men will still be alive? NOOOOO, this is too cruel, too cruel Eric Kripke, you heartless man you!

It's back to regular ghost hunting again as Sam and Dean purposely get themselves thrown into prison to investigate the mysterious killings of guards and inmates in episode 19, Folsom Prison Blues . What? Are they crazy? They are already on the run from the law for identity fraud and murder, among other charges, and they willingly put themselves into a position where they likely will never get themselves out of? Crazy's in town, indeed. Though that doesn't stop Dean from turning on the charm, even on Special Agent Henriksen, who is spitting venom at having to chase them from one end of the country to the other. Ooooh, he thinks he's got them now! Henriksen doesn't take to Dean's wisecracks and hisses, "You think you're funny?" to which Dean replies with a wink and a smile, "I think I'm adorable." And a whole bunch of fanboys and fangirls sigh yes to that. The boys get a lady lawyer to defend them, and Dean just about stops himself fro...

I'm not sure if it's just that time of the month or the side effects of the prednisolone that I have been on, but I have been absolutely ravenous this past week. I can't go four hours without feeling like I have to eat again. It doesn't help that I have been repeatedly watching Supernatural's Hollywood Babylon where Jensen Ackles stuffs all kinds of naughty food down his impressive maw. What is it about the way that man eats that makes me salivate with hunger?

After Episode 17’s angst and heartache some weeks ago, the boys pitch up in Los Angeles for a little rest and recreation. Naturally, they don’t just relax like normal people do, but start investigating rumours of a haunted film set. Sam may have the patent on the Super Special Puppy Dog Eyes , but this episode gives a glimpse of Dean being the real puppy dog. He just wants to roll over and have someone pat him on the back and tell him he’s doing a good job. Awww, he aims to please, this boy, don’t matter if it’s the boss-man or the ladies. Sam is looking subdued here, mainly because he had to put down his own dog-lady (woof!) recently. Also whenever Dean plays the doofus, Sam has to be the straight man and act all prissy and serious. I kinda feel sorry for Jared Padalecki, always having to play the wet blanket. He does look better and better, physically though, what with him having a bit of a tan going on and walking like the long-legged, broad-shouldered beefcake that he is. He makes ...

“I saw what was on your computer. I didn’t realise you were this obsessed over Dean,” The Mother says to me this morning. “Wha-h?” Did my mum read my blog? Did I accidentally leave it on in full view? Has my mum been taking secret computer lessons? “That’s a huge picture of Dean on your computer,” my mum continues. Oh. Phewh. Heh, I left my laptop on in the living room while downloading some perfectly legal stuff off the net. Naturally I have a picture of Dean as my desktop background. “He is a handsome man, but I don’t think he’s that good-looking. He looks mean. And perasan ,” she adds. “He doesn’t look mean!” I was incredulous. “He’s got lovely big eyes and girlie eyelashes. Yeah, he might come off looking a bit perasan , but he doesn’t look as arrogant on film. He just doesn't come off too well in still shots.” My mum just sniffed. She’s not convinced. Rewind : It was my punishment for being a lazy couch potato. I was stretched out on the couch of my old apartment in Liverpool,...

After watching a good episode of Supernatural , there are a few things I have to do before I can form any sort of coherent statements about what I had just watched. First, I need to control my idiotic grin whenever I think of The Brothers Winchester . Second, I need to get all my girly gushes out of the way via blithering to my fellow Supernatural fan, my sister Maryam. This used to be done by me lying on her bed, stealing all her pillows, waving my hands about in an excitable fashion then driving her off her own bed in my excitement. This is now made difficult by the fact that she has gone back to university 2000 miles away and blithering on a long distance phone call is murder to my wallet. And finally, I need to be able to get over the impulse of giving each brother a hug; depending on how the story went, either a consoling hug, an I’m-glad-you’re-safe hug, or just a you’re-so-cute-and-adorable hug. Sadly, I can never completely get over any of these impulses. I have managed to hav...

Hi, my name is Dean Winchester. I’m an Aquarius, I like long walks on the beach and frisky women. I used to be one hell of an ugly kid, but I grew up to be a handsome devil. I have a little brother, Sam, but he’s not so little really because I’m 6’ 1 and he’s still taller than me. He makes me look like a short arse, the freaky Sasquatch. We were once a happy, normal family until my mother was killed when I was four years old. It could have been just an ordinary house fire except for the fact that my dad saw a yellow-eyed man pin my mother to a ceiling by an invisible force, made her bleed from the abdomen, and then set her and our family home on fire. My father, driven by grief and anger, spent the rest of his life, trying to find answers to who or what killed his wife. That mission would lead us all down a path we could never turn back from. It turned out that this yellow-eyed man is a special type of demon who don’t die easy and is slippery as hell. That wasn’t the end of our problem...

Jared Padalecki is a stupid bugger. He and anyone who says that Sam and Dean Winchester have to die for the show to end properly need their heads examining. Aaaarrgghh!!! How many times must I say this? No one will fondly remember this TV show, watch it repeatedly or buy the DVDs if we know the brother/s die at the end. Why do you think I can’t bring myself to watch Devil’s Trap or In My Time of Dying? It’s too heartbreaking! Stop trying to be realistic. This is a TV show, dammit. I watch it for escapism and eye candy. If I wanted real, I’d watch the news or British television. Come on, you’re Hollywood! Don’t you know the rules? You have happy endings! Riding off into the sunset! Freedom and justice for all! It’s the non-Americans, homely people and the wise-cracking smart asses that buy the farm. Good-looking hunks save the day and get the girl. Wait, hang on…….. Dean is a wise-cracking smart ass. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! -------------------------------------------------------- Five minut...

I did not want to get too involved in the Supernatural forums; I did it before on a previous obsession and it near ruined me. Before this season’s Supernatural went on a three week hiatus, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I went on the Supernatural forum. I admit I go to the website regularly. I look at the promos for future episodes. Occasionally, out of curiosity, I look up info on Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, but I don’t delve too personally into their personal lives because: a) they are not Sam and Dean Winchester b) they are luvvie actors, not intrepid demon hunters But desperate times call for desperate measures. With a new episode of Supernatural not airing till March 15, there are only so many times I can note how hot evil Sam is before I get bored. First, I read about what other people think about Supernatural, which on a forum dedicated to Supernatural on a website dedicated to Supernatural, means that the reviews go from generally good to scre...

The problem with addictions is when you think you need a little bit more, just a little bit to satisfy your craving then you’ll be alright but that little bit more is never enough. You have one more and as soon as that is over, you want another one. And how could I not want another one when that addiction is as adorable as Dean and Sam Winchester? You know when you hear guys say that their ultimate fantasy is to have a threesome with sisters or twins and you think, god, that’s sick? Or that they get a kick out of seeing women wrestle? I never really understood that until I saw Sam and Dean wrestling with each other on a bed and I went, “Yeaa—hh.” I only wish that scene was longer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m gagging for a ménage a trois with the Winchester brothers, but I can see where the impulse comes from….. although I still think it’s gross. Too much information? Take a breather. After all the angst, heartache and drama of the past few episodes and Season 2 in general, i...

While waiting for the next episode of Supernatural to be available on the net, I've been trawling the websites on any news and titbits I can find on the show. I know going to forums isn't always the best thing to do -it has ruined a few book plots that I had looked forward to - but when you're addicted, you need something to keep ou from having withdrawal symptoms. As always, something somebody mentions in passing on a forum has put a horrible idea in my head, mainly on how Supernatural would end. Dea, as any fan is aware, was dead, or very nearly dead at the opening of Season 2, and it was his father's deal with the Yellow-Eyed Demon which miraculously healed his traumatic head wounds and gave him back his life. Dean cottoned on to this fact early on, though it wasn't till Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things that he vocalises this and bared his anguish over the fact that his father died for him and his unnatural existence has made him become what he himse...

Frigging hot, I'm telling you. Last Thursday's episode of Supernatural , Born Under A Bad Sign , may be in the running for one of the best yet. Please forgive me, Dean, for saying that your brother Sam was frigging ace in that episode. You are still my leader, Dean, but how hot was dear Sammy in that one. I think I must be a sicko for finding evil Sam so bloody amazing but he does play evil wonderfully well. My two favourite moments are that deep, howling laugh he let rip towards the end of the episode and when he taunted Jo and said in a sing-song voice,"My daddy shot your daddy in the head." Fucking brilliant. Although there are a few things I am unhappy about, two of which I specifically mention in a previous post. The first is poor Dean being tortured again! Poor boy, give him a break. He keeps having his pretty face bashed in, this time by his demon-possessed brother. Now, that Sam is a big strapping lad and it pained me greatly to see him repeatedly hitting Dean...

Thirteen down, nine more to go. So, at a rate of one episode per week, Season 2 of Supernatural will end somewhere in April. Hopefully, there will be a Season 3 – never mind if I have to wait six to seven months for it. I also hope to be gainfully employed (and busy) come April but I doubt my ardour for one Dean Winchester will be much diminished. He is, after all, hot. Of course in real life, he would probably be frustrating to live with what with him frequently disappearing on road trips and always trying to be the macho guy and all. Oh and he’s bossy too. But then again, that’s why he’s my fantasy fancy man and not my real man. Then again, my mother did say that there’s no way I could get a man as hot as Dean looking and acting the way I do. Thanks for the reality check, ma. But didn’t you also say always aim for As, so if I extrapolate that to men like Dean instead of exam results…….. Hot guys go after hot girls. That is the order of life. I can’t do hot. I can do moody, sarcastic ...

(Dean and Sam doing a Mulder and Scully) I watched the latest episode Night Shifter yesterday and I have got to say that, in American speak, it was totally awesome. Now, because I am not the most eloquent of writers and because my brain is half-man, I shall put my points across in a list. What I like about Supernatural so far: 1. The two brothers. Yum mee, keep those two brothers coming. Especially Dean. 2. The fact that Sam and Dean constantly take the mickey out of each other. 3. Dean's one liners. "I don't do shorts, sweetheart." 4. Dean, because he is so hot. 5. The fight scenes where they use everything they've got: guns, crossbows, knives, bare knuckles, head butts. 6. The things they hunt: demons, murderous ghosts, vengeful spirits, vampires, satanic preachers, backswood crazies, telekinetic murderers. 7. The beautiful, haunting cinematography. 8. For making classic rock cool again. 9. Sam's 'guilty conscience for surfing internet porn'. 10. A ...

How do I love Dean? Let me count the ways. 1. Gorgeous, melt-inducing smile 2. Sexy, come-hither eyes 3. Razor sharp cheekbones 4. 100% pure Texan beef. Yum. Tonight, I will be at my sister’s place in London, the last stop of my journey before I finally leave England for good. Civilisation at last, as my sister has a broadband connection and a working computer. I can finally watch the two Supernatural episodes I have missed so far. But being the technologically challenged person that I am, I have to watch it on the small screen of YouTube. Still, it’s better than nothing and I can moon over Jensen/Dean in private while my sister and her husband are at work. Aaaaaah…… happiness. I don’t think all this ready access to the internet will lessen the length of my fevered discussions about Dean with my sister Maryam. Lately, our phone conversations have consisted mainly of this: Me: Dean is hot. Heh heh heh. Maryam: So hot. Hee hee hee. (Pause as we both think about Dean’s hotness). Me: Remem...