Skip to main content

This is not a toy

I hate my new stethoscope. It looks like a vagina. And I see enough of those on a daily basis without having a plastic replica of it hanging around my neck.

Having lost the stethoscope which I've had since I was a first year medical student, I ordered one through a friend who bought it at the hospital medical shop. Get the new high tech, light weight one, she says. It comes in all sorts of fun colours.

I think I'll buy the usual Litmann Classic, I say. I've always used that one and I quite like it.

No, no get this new one, it's much better.

Besides looking like a vagina, my new stethoscope comes in a range of cheap- looking plastic swathed in a strange disco glitter which somewhow manages to look drab as vomit.

I hate whoever's taken my old stethoscope. It's got my name engraved on it but that hasn't stopped them from saying "Ooh, I'll have that then."

Death to the stethoscope stealer!

Comments

Anonymous said…
You said the V word!!

Maybe I shoud get a similarly shaped new stapler. Some bugger keeps taking that too.
Kere said…
Vagina.
Vagina vagina.

Who nicks staplers anyway? Eejit.

Popular posts from this blog

Me gusta

It's funny how looking at some things make me inexplicably happy. I'm looking at a picture of him grinning and I'm grinning myself. I can't even remember how or when I developed a crush on him. I mean, he wasn't even my favourite *NSYNC-er back in *NSYNC's heyday - I thought JC Chasez was too cheesy, too earnest, too typical of the blue-eyed, all-American boy bander to be attractive to me. I preferred Chris Kirkpatrick with his dark eyes, dark hair, scowly face, ripping sarcastic comments but surprise, surprise, oh so angelic voice. At some point in the last month, I was hit by a bout of nostalgia and spent my time trawling through You Tube and listening to my old records and BAM! It hit me - JC Chasez is frikking hot. Like pour cold water on me now kind of hot. Even hotter when he had the longer curls instead of that awful crew-cut military do in the beginning of his career. He is sex on legs, and I bet he knows it. Ok, so he's less sexy now but he...

The goat

So, there we were - three women in their late twenties, lounging on a faux-leather sofa having a nice post-prandial banter with a bunch of friends. Usually it would be just the three of us - me, Si and Em - talking about life, work and relationships - having that Bridget Jones moment which we thought would never come to us, because 'oh no, we're so above that!' But tonight was a farewell party for a friend who was off to Australia for a newer, better job in a newer, better place than sorry-ass England, and the talk frequently turned to career paths, professional exams, work-life balance etc. Cat was talking about a friend who works in computers who did not go to university because she thought it was a waste of time. Instead she plunged straight into work and gained experience and skills on the job. She is only a year older than me but she has been so successful that she has two homes in London and one in San Francisco where she now works from home and makes shedloads of mon...

You gotta stay sharp

This week I celebrated my 28th birthday. This week I was accidentally stabbed with a needle contaminated with the blood of a patient with Hepatitis B. It was all going so well, I thought. The patient had already been screened for HIV and venereal disease and she was in the clear. What are the chances that she would be positive for Hepatitis B? Well, 100% as it turned out. I wasn't terribly upset at first. It was a small nick that didn't bleed much, though it surprised me enough that I yelled in the operating theatre. Everybody froze when they realised what had happened. My colleague felt bad for accidentally stabbing me with the suture needle. As I pointed out, it was an accident. I was double-gloved and we were all following the correct procedures, so it was unfortunate that I got a needlestick injury. What pissed me off was the attitude of the staff when I was trying to get all the various forms filled out and sent off to the correct persons. Their primary concern seemed to b...