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Chronicle of a disesase

Caution: Do not read further if you are of the queasy type and/or never liked it when I discussed bodily functions.

People in the health profession tend to to fall into two groups when it comes to their own health: they're either closet hypochondriacs or they are perpetually in self-denial of their symptoms and their unhealthy lifestyle. Which is why, the doctor's code of conduct does not encourage doctors to treat themselves. Most of the time it is easiest to prescribe stuff for yourself rather than go your own general pactitioner. It works for simple prescriptions like a one-off course of antibiotics. So when the eczema on my face started to deteriorate past mildly irritating to full-scale fingernail attack, I got myself some hydrocortisone cream. Worked fine for 3 days after which I stopped. I know you're supposed to continue for seven days but my skin gets horribly paper thin on steroids so I decide not to continue beyond three days. I had a few days free of problems before things started to go downhill again.

Let me explain. First, my skin starts with an itch. Usually on my face. When illness strikes me, it usually strikes on the neck above, unlike my two younger sisters who are prone to maladies of the gastrointestinal tract. I scratch the itch. Then the skin goes red and dry which makes the itch even worse which makes the rash even worse which makes the itch even worse and so on and so forth. It gets to the point where the skin gets so red and raw, that you excoriate the skin and bleed. The top layer of my skin peels off. Then you get the weeping. Since eczema is an over-enthusiastic inflammatory response of the body, you get lots of weeping (discharge of clear serous fluid) which will crust over. (Hence, my flatmate naming me 'Crusty' despite my objections that it sounded like I have a sexually transmitted infection.)

When the weeping commences, I finally admit to myself that I should move up the treatment scale and get myself some kick-ass steroid cream. Of course, once you have open wounds, hands that won't keep still and lots of steroid and emollient gunk on your face (steroids dampen the body's inflammatory response and hence the body's immune response to infections),the situation was ripe for bacteria to storm the castle.

I persevered with just the hydrocortisone cream initially, even going on a lakeside holiday with my bro and sister-in-law and some of their friends. The clean lakeside environment seemed to make the skin less irritable but by the time we came back to Dublin, the whole of my left cheek had swelled. I put the oedema down to the inflammation but the clear, serous discharge had turned yellow. I chose to ignore this and persevered with all the normal creams, despite grimacing whenever I had to wash my face due to the the pain water inflicted on my skin. I went to bed but by Tuesday morning, the swelling was creeping upwards to my eye, so much so that my sister-in-law's neighbour thought I looked Japanese. I finally admitted defeat and got my SIL to make me a doctor's appointment. This not being the NHS, I got an appointment that afternoon.

The doctor's surgery was only 2 minutes walk away but this being the centre of Dublin I got a lot of stunned looks with quick glances away. I thought I wouldn't look so out of place at the doctor's but in the tiny but full reception room, I was the only one who looked like I really needed the doctor. I was called in after the standard waiting time (finished reading Heat magazine, or similar celebrity tabloid magazine, cover to cover). The doctor dabbed at my pus-ridden flesh with a damp cotton wool, ho-hummed a little bit, and said that it was infected eczema. Yes, I've finally seen the light and agree. Give me some flucloxacillin and I'll be on my way. The doc adds some Fucicin H cream as well (hydrocortisone cream 1% plus fusidic acid) and asks to see me again in two days to check on my progress. The next appoinment, he says, is free of charge.

So, two days down the line, I am glad to report that my skin has improved greatly. You can see my eyes now, as well as the under-eye lines that had disappeared when my face was swollen. Skin doesn't itch as much now but it is still agony for about ten minutes after I wash my face with water. The doctor is pleased with my progress, though he wants to see me again in four days. Again it is free of charge. My SIL doesn't like this particular doctor because every time she brings my niece over to him when she is ill, he always says it's a viral infection and sends them home and take Calpol regularly. I can understand how an anxious mother might be unsatisfied with this but fortunately, he has been proven right. With regards to me, I am impressed that he has been conscientious over my progress, especially since the infection initially looked like it had been heading into the eye, which would have landed me in hot shit and in the hospital.

This is the third time my head and neck region has ballooned like this. When I was six, I had a swelling so large on my neck that it tipped my head sideways. I have no idea what it was, only that it was probably of an infective cause. The most recent one was when I reacted to the claypot chicken rice I had eaten causing my face to swell so much that my eyelids swelled shut. I had to be led into the emergency department like a blind woman by my dad. I am not an especially vain person, but this seems like some sort of Biblical punishment for the vain.

Once my antibiotic course finishes, that leaves me with just the daily antihistamine I take since every time I come here, my nose gets runny and I get hayfever-like symptoms and feel like I'm walking around in a fugue. But I hope to keep it away for at least 18 hours a day and actually get around to seeing Dublin like a proper tourist.

Well, here's to continued good health. And remember, if it itches, don't scratch it.

Comments

Maryam said…
But if it rumbles, just shit it.

Elephant man. heh heh.
Kere said…
Hey, it's Crusty Elephant Man to you!

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