This is a rather novel experience for me. From being the one who reportedly caused my mother the least trouble, I have moved in the span of two months, into being the enemy of the state. I am almost proud of that achievement except for the fact that this whole situation is causing my mother grief. I would also feel more guilty if I thought that this was all my fault, rather than something my mother blew out of all proportion. Seriously, I have a sneaking suspicion that my mother secretly enjoys all this drama.
Maybe part of my mum’s shock and anger is the fact that I’ve actually stood up for myself. Although I think the fact that I acted like a loony when I was last back didn’t help either. (I pretended that I was an alien from outer space and that the Zouk club in KL was the mothership – I know it sounds crazy, but it was an outlet for my feelings in order for me to not go off the rails for real). I have always been the quiet one, the neutral, the observer, the one who kept sane when all chaos that are my siblings and my dad broke around her. I was bloody Switzerland. Heck, I was so silent my older sister seriously thought I had some form of autism. I didn’t even have a teenage rebellion – just the usual sulking, hiding in my room and answering in monosyllables, which I think is the absolute minimum that a teenager should do.
But people change. People open their minds up a little bit. People think about things a bit more. People open their mouths and fight back once in a while. I don’t think anybody can ever change their basic nature. But I also believe even if you are naturally quiet, you can learn to speak up, to be more sociable and friendly. I don’t think you would ever be the life of the party but at least you’re in the party, if you get what I mean.
Judging by the fact that my mother still moans to my youngest sister and holds me up as an example of what not to be, I guess she’s still mad at me. But knowing my mother’s rages, I will eventually get back into her good books and she’ll pick on some other child of hers to behold as a bad example. Until that title falls back to my sister Maryam (haw haw), I think I’ll enjoy being the enemy for a while.
Maybe part of my mum’s shock and anger is the fact that I’ve actually stood up for myself. Although I think the fact that I acted like a loony when I was last back didn’t help either. (I pretended that I was an alien from outer space and that the Zouk club in KL was the mothership – I know it sounds crazy, but it was an outlet for my feelings in order for me to not go off the rails for real). I have always been the quiet one, the neutral, the observer, the one who kept sane when all chaos that are my siblings and my dad broke around her. I was bloody Switzerland. Heck, I was so silent my older sister seriously thought I had some form of autism. I didn’t even have a teenage rebellion – just the usual sulking, hiding in my room and answering in monosyllables, which I think is the absolute minimum that a teenager should do.
But people change. People open their minds up a little bit. People think about things a bit more. People open their mouths and fight back once in a while. I don’t think anybody can ever change their basic nature. But I also believe even if you are naturally quiet, you can learn to speak up, to be more sociable and friendly. I don’t think you would ever be the life of the party but at least you’re in the party, if you get what I mean.
Judging by the fact that my mother still moans to my youngest sister and holds me up as an example of what not to be, I guess she’s still mad at me. But knowing my mother’s rages, I will eventually get back into her good books and she’ll pick on some other child of hers to behold as a bad example. Until that title falls back to my sister Maryam (haw haw), I think I’ll enjoy being the enemy for a while.
Comments
Enemy of the State always makes the front page. Give me back my title!
Maryam, I feel sorry for you. I've been feeling all self-righteous 8000 miles away from The Mother while you're the one who has to actually deal with the fallout. And you can't even talk about yourself which I know is your favourite thing to do.
Maybe I should let Dean come a round your house for a visit. Just for a minute, mind. Talk at the gates only, no inviting him in for tea and biscuits.
Btw, Flatmate saw the picture of Dean on my laptop and said he has kissable lips. I commend her for seeing the light and acknowledging how hot Dean is but I had to give her an ethnic beating to rid her of any impure thought towards Dean as he is, as we all know, MINE.
Your love is NOT PURE
Jeebuz.
bah!