Two weeks ago, I saw the saxophonist from The Zutons out shopping with a friend in Liverpool's town centre. Last Friday, I saw Ronan Keating on the plane I boarded to go to Dublin. The only reason I saw him was because he was wearing huge, Nicole Richie type sunglasses in the plane and I thought, "Who's the poser in the glasses?" and turned to look at him properly. I whispered this discovery to my sister who said, "Why don't you ask for his autograph?"
"What?! I'm not a fan. I hate his songs," I said indignantly.
In Dublin, my sister was hoping to spot Bono. She's been a massive fan of U2 since she was in her early teens (she's thirty one now). The last time she was in Dublin about five years ago, she spent two days wandering outside Bono's house on the off chance he might be home and she could, I guess, scream and faint at the sight of him.
However, we were not there to spot celebrities but to see my brother, his wife and their burgeoning family. My sister-in-law gave birth to a baby boy in November last year and neither of us have seen him in the flesh. He's an adorable baby who looks like Yoda and prone to colicky stomach pains, eczema and screaming. Can't fault him for all that screaming with that much to trouble him, but it must be hard for his poor mother. I'm tired just looking at what she does on a daily basis.
My 4 year old niece is getting smarter every day, methinks. She already speaks in a Dublin accent but she can imitate a standard English accent from all the BBC education programmes she watches. She can argue logically ("It's only a little bit, Daddy"), can count to twenty in English, Irish Gaelic and Spanish, and can use the internet to get on to her favourite websites like Dora the Explorer and CeeBeeBies. She can sing the whole of Shakira's 'Hips Don't Lie' (albeit with plenty of mispronounced words) and quite gamely sings, "What the hell are you waiting for?" whenever Jay Z & Linkin Park's 'Numb/Encore' comes on the radio. Believe me, it is very bizarre to hear the word 'hell' said in a cute, piping little girl's voice.
Continuing in my niece's education, I was at my brother's computer with Niece sitting on my lap watching a panda video on YouTube. Niece spots a still of a South Park cartoon and whines several times that she wants to see it. The episode is called 'Sexual Harrassment Panda' which should have warned me about what to expect but I'm not a parent and I haven't watched South Park in years, so I stupidly clicked on it. The episode goes something like this:
Teacher: Due to several incidents in the country, I have been instructed to teach about sexual harrassment in schools. Now, does anybody know what sexual harrassment is?
Eric: When you're trying to have sexual intercourse with a lady friend and some other guy comes along and tickles your balls from behind.
It then dawned on me that Niece really shouldn't be watching this. Really. Thankfully, Niece didn't make much of a fuss when I switched the video to something else. She musn't have enjoyed it. I just pray she doesn't go around telling her teachers what sexual harrasment is.
By the way below was the panda video we were initially watching. My niece and I couldn't stop playing it over and over again.
"What?! I'm not a fan. I hate his songs," I said indignantly.
In Dublin, my sister was hoping to spot Bono. She's been a massive fan of U2 since she was in her early teens (she's thirty one now). The last time she was in Dublin about five years ago, she spent two days wandering outside Bono's house on the off chance he might be home and she could, I guess, scream and faint at the sight of him.
However, we were not there to spot celebrities but to see my brother, his wife and their burgeoning family. My sister-in-law gave birth to a baby boy in November last year and neither of us have seen him in the flesh. He's an adorable baby who looks like Yoda and prone to colicky stomach pains, eczema and screaming. Can't fault him for all that screaming with that much to trouble him, but it must be hard for his poor mother. I'm tired just looking at what she does on a daily basis.
My 4 year old niece is getting smarter every day, methinks. She already speaks in a Dublin accent but she can imitate a standard English accent from all the BBC education programmes she watches. She can argue logically ("It's only a little bit, Daddy"), can count to twenty in English, Irish Gaelic and Spanish, and can use the internet to get on to her favourite websites like Dora the Explorer and CeeBeeBies. She can sing the whole of Shakira's 'Hips Don't Lie' (albeit with plenty of mispronounced words) and quite gamely sings, "What the hell are you waiting for?" whenever Jay Z & Linkin Park's 'Numb/Encore' comes on the radio. Believe me, it is very bizarre to hear the word 'hell' said in a cute, piping little girl's voice.
Continuing in my niece's education, I was at my brother's computer with Niece sitting on my lap watching a panda video on YouTube. Niece spots a still of a South Park cartoon and whines several times that she wants to see it. The episode is called 'Sexual Harrassment Panda' which should have warned me about what to expect but I'm not a parent and I haven't watched South Park in years, so I stupidly clicked on it. The episode goes something like this:
Teacher: Due to several incidents in the country, I have been instructed to teach about sexual harrassment in schools. Now, does anybody know what sexual harrassment is?
Eric: When you're trying to have sexual intercourse with a lady friend and some other guy comes along and tickles your balls from behind.
It then dawned on me that Niece really shouldn't be watching this. Really. Thankfully, Niece didn't make much of a fuss when I switched the video to something else. She musn't have enjoyed it. I just pray she doesn't go around telling her teachers what sexual harrasment is.
By the way below was the panda video we were initially watching. My niece and I couldn't stop playing it over and over again.
Comments
I do have a life, you know.
Pandas > Dean I should know. I am one.
Wolf Parade have performed in Dublin you know :(