I'm Not Asleep, My Eyes Are Just Closed

Music Hey Girl - Delays Long Time Coming - Delays 1. Faded Seaside Glamour (album); Lost In A Melody (single) – DELAYS . It follows that after me going crazy for Delays’ sophomore effort, You See Colours , I’d be backtracking to their debut album to get more of the good stuff. If I had discovered Delays by their first album, I’d have gone, “Jeebus! What the hell happened to Delays?” when I put on their second album because the two albums sound like two completely different animals. Where You See Colours did nearly what it said on the tin with its synths, thumping bass and beats you can wig out to, Faded Seaside Glamour is a dreamy, airy, bittersweet collection that you’d put on while you lie on the grass and look at the sheep-shaped clouds in the sky. There are jangly guitars, soaring vocals and melodies so blissed out and mellow you could take them home to meet the parents. Nearer Than Heaven, Hey Girl and Long Time Coming are some tracks that jump out but on repeated listens I ...

My friends are surprised when I say that I hate going to the doctor’s. “But you’re a doctor yourself!” they exclaim. Yes, your point being? Face it, the only reason why you would go see a doctor or some other health care professional is because you are in some form of misery; whether it’s that stinging sensation every time you pee or that odd-looking mold growing on your toe – whatever it is, it’s not pleasant. Of course, if you are in the UK, some old folks treat a visit to their general practitioner as a nice day out. You can’t blame them really, because it’s just about their only social contact in the world but in Malaysia, decent health care is you can afford to pay. So unless you’re rolling around in agony, forget about the health check ups, pap smears, breast exams and so forth. Let’s just wait till you drop dead of a heart attack aged 42. I’m one to talk of course. In the UK, it is mandatory to be registered with a GP whose practice covers the area you live in but I moved all ov...

Just as I was getting into the edge-of-the-seat splendour that is Battlestar Galactica, the writers and producers do something that got me mightily pissed off. I have just watched them kill off Billy, the president’s aide. Billy, Billy, Billy. Poor under-utilised, puppy-faced Billy. They could have made something of his character instead of always sticking him in the background with like, two lines per episode (if he was in the episode even). They could have cut down on the macho posturing of the steroid-pumped pilots and given Billy some scenes for God’s sake! Oh yeah, sure they gave him some scenes and some lines but right in the episode where he frakking dies. Why do I like Billy? I guess because I always have had a soft spot for the awkward, tragic-looking boy in the corner, the quiet one with a glint of steel in his eye who will let you showboat all you want but if you shove him he will shove right back. Billy was all those things; a young man surrounded by the military and the hi...

Today, I let rip at a stranger and my mother went, “YEAH!! You tell him, Kere!” I was third in line at the traffic lights at that mass of intersections in front of Bank Negara, pointed towards Lake Gardens. A white, four wheel drive with a JKR emblem was at the front and when the lights turned green, the fricking idiot decided to do a U-turn there. Stupid bugger did not comprehend that you cannot do a U-turn there, mainly because TRAFFIC IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION WAS ALSO GREEN AND THERE WAS NO WAY HE COULD MOVE UNTIL THE LIGHTS TURNED RED AGAIN. Meanwhile, since everyone else behind him was stacked bumper to bumper, no one could manoeuvre sideways at all. I started honking at him, not little tiny honks but really long, ear-splitting horns with my hand jammed firmly against the steering wheel. Much to my delight, every one else started honking him as well. And did that stubborn bugger give up on his ill-conceived turn and moved straight ahead like everyone else before him? Like fuck ...

Battlestar Tic-tac-tickah? Battlestar Galactica. It's the name of a ship. And a TV show . What does it do? Oh, it does battles. It's a pretty big ship . Does it do anything else? Oh yes. It can jump faster than light. But no one ever shouts, "Warp speed!" It would be so much cooler than plain old FTL jump. Start at the beginning please. In a galaxy far, far away... Wrong universe, mate. Oh, but it is in a far away galaxy... Grrrr... Okay. In the far off future, mankind has dispersed among the stars. They settled in twelve different colonies and all roads to Earth have long been forgotten. That's better. Go on. In these distant lands, Man has built machines called Cylons... To do their dirty work, no doubt. Yes, but don't interrupt. Sorry. The Cylons soon evolved and seeked to overthrow its master. Unbenknowst to them, the Cylons have built machines that look just like humans . Yowza. Indeed. They made many copies of each human model and infiltrated them into t...

There's an article in today's Star (Mum upset at award for death of son) regarding the death of Nui Jia Yuan in 2003, which concerns me because the level of aftercare provided by this particular doctor seemed wanting. I'd like to first make clear that my opinion is based solely on this particular article. I have no access to the medical or autopsy records or the original press report regarding this boy's death in 2003. If today's article was reported accurately, then there are a few things concerning this case that I felt the need to comment on. According to the facts of the case, Jia Yuan, who was four then, was taken to Klinik dan Surgeri Kuben on March 26, 2003 after the boy complained of pain during urination. Dr Kubendran examined the boy and asked Nui and Lim to bring him in again on March 28 for circumcision. The boy and his parents arrived at the clinic at about 1pm and Dr Kubendran administered injections to the boy’s arm, buttocks and private parts before ...

Nearer Than Heaven [acoustic] by Delays from the album Faded Seaside Glamour I said I didn’t miss England at all, but I think I do a little bit. I miss its sense of humour, the newspapers, the BBC and most of all, I miss the summers. What?!? But it’s ‘summer’ all year round in Malaysia. Yes, but it’s not the same summer. Visitors always make jokes about the miserableness of the weather, but I usually shrug and say that it’s not bad really. It was more of a survival mechanism perhaps, because if you live there 11 out of the 12 months of the year, moaning about the weather isn’t going to help you get through it. It was a case of putting your head down and getting on with it. Summer was always good, and the transition to summer was better. It was the way it slowly crept up on you until it tapped you on the shoulder like an unexpected friend; the days got longer, the temperature turned warmer, even the air smelled different. If the wind was right, I could smell the salt blowing in from the...

I'm so glad that I kept on to some of my old junk because right now, I'm getting more than my money's worth from my seven year old JVC stereo headphones. Perfect for making magic out of crappy laptop speakers, and for listening to this in bed at night. Bedroom Scene [Acoustic] by Delays. Recorded live on LBC Radio 97.3 in 2004. Greg and Colin send chills down my spine.

Why, Kere? Why?!? Because I love this band so much and if I can't witter about them on my blog, where else can I? This Town's Religion by Delays . Album: You See Colours (Rough Trade Records, 2006)

I have been in need of new undergarments for some time but I have been thwarted in my mission at least three times now. Bra salespeople really make me twitchy. They tend to be tiny, persistent women who follow you so closely around, I feel I should have an akad nikah just to feel legal. I've accidentally elbowed a few in the boobs a couple of times, before I started doing it on purpose just to get them off my back. It's not like they're helpful either. Figuring out the right size is pretty much an exact science involving a tape measure but these women will eyeball your chest then loudly proclaim a number either two sizes two big or small for you. Protesting makes little difference because she has given her decree. If you choose to ignore her and root around yourself, you do so at your peril as she will stand close by, giving you evil looks which will curse you with a wonky chest. Then there was the sales assistant who shoved bras of varying sizes in my hands. It was the la...

The downside of lending my mum my books is she always asks me the ending when she isn't even halfway through reading them yet. I get terribly agitated when she does this. I don't know why I get so worked up about it, it's stupid I know, but it's difficult to control my distress at her illogical behaviour. Especially when she does it in the car when I am already stressed driving around Morons & Their Metallic Weapons of Death . My mum also never introduces her topic properly i.e. "You know in So-and-so book that you lent me, what happened to Mr. So-and-so in the end?" I could have been talking about the price of roti canai in KL when she jumps in about whether the lightflyer is like in The Stetsons. She leaves me floundering in confusion while I dodge a Moron & His Metallic Weapon of Death who has cut across my lane before I figure out that she's talking about a book I lent her a week ago. "You mean The Jetsons," I say. "No, no, The ...

My friends are familiar with what kind of books I like since I yak about it often enough, but they're not entirely sure what kind of music I listen to. I wouldn't know how to answer that myself because my tastes have changed so much in the past few years and I listen to whatever grabs me. In my schooldays, I listened to whatever was in vogue, or whatever my elder siblings were crazy about. People were going ape-shit over New Kids On The Block when I was 11, and I picked Jon as my favourite NKOTB member because everyone insisted that you must have a favourite, even when I did not fancy any of them at all. One of my earliest memories of peer pressure. I could do the dance moves though, I learned it with my big sister, Steamed Chicken. Then there was Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Madonna, Fleetwood Mac, Roxette, Johnny Hates Jazz, A-ha - Steamed Chicken was infatuated with Morten Harkett - Bros, Rick Astley, Milli Vanilli. I bought my first album with my sister's help. It was Kylie...

A musician whose name I can't remember once said that a guitar suits a man better than a woman, because it is an extension of a man's dick. At that time, I had no idea what he meant but now, looking at the way some guys play their guitar, I have to agree. About the dick part, I mean. Very phallic indeed. Sorry, been watching some music videos all afternoon and my mind just ran away with me.

I'm turning into KJ by pimping my favourite band of the moment but I love them so much and I can't exactly explain why I love them, so I need to direct the world (or the seven people who read this blog) to places where they can find out more about Delays . Check out an excellent live set on Mexican television here (Part 1) , here (Part 2) and here (Part 3) . My favourites are Lost In A Melody (it's got beeps, Maryam) at the end of part 1, You and Me at the beginning of part 2 and Valentine at the end of part 3. Or if you don't have time for the half-hour session click here and scroll down to the links at the bottom to see two short acoustic versions of Waste of Space and Hideaway by Greg Gilbert and Colin Fox. Be warned though, they were done in a hotel bedroom after an interview by FaceCulture and they both look like they just woke up. Their hair looks uncombed and Greg is wearing the most awful grandfather glasses but they both sound bee-yew-ti-full.

Hello, regular readers. You may have noticed that The Dean Winchester Appreciation Society has disappeared from the sub-headline. If you haven't noticed, then you seriously need to get your eyes checked. What does this all mean, you ask? Well, I thought it was time to let go of old Deano, do a bit of house-cleaning, clear the air..... the works, especially now that the season has ended. It was a bit of an unhealthy obsession for a while there and even my super-cool sisters thought it was rather embarrassing. Don't worry, I have a new obsession now and it's a floppy-haired, girly-voiced band called Delays! Woo-hoo! Just kidding...... a little bit. In the meantime, I shall think of new and exciting ways to jazz up my blog page. Apparently the bright green colour that was briefly up was distressing enough to conjure images of vomit, so I have changed my colour scheme to a more soothing blue. Until the time I become more adept with the ways of the computer, I shall have to rel...

It’s become a bit of a joke in my family. I thought we’d cut the questions about my available status and just hand out fliers with my ugly mug and personal details on it with a headline in big, black letters saying, ‘WANTED: Husband for professional spinster.’ (Because you know, single women in their late 20s are a danger to society). Easy, all the info you need on whether I would tick all the boxes required to be a suitable wife/in-law. Just don’t mention the fussy appetite, mood swings and baggage of dusty books. Still, it’s one thing for it to be a private family joke to becoming an online advertisement for the single, desperate and unemployed. Big Sister (or rather Steamed Chicken, as she shall henceforth be known) was back in Malaysia for three weeks and had met up with a friend for lunch. I tagged along because it would be stupid if I ate on my own while waiting to chauffeur Steamed Chicken around. (She’s recently discovered she’s been driving for 3 years with an expired licence...