Skip to main content

Are you in the mood?

The setting: Busy day in the Infertility clinic

The characters: One clueless doctor, one nearly thirty nulliparous lady

Doctor: So, Mrs. X.... (rustles some paperwork). The treatment we have been giving you has worked, your hormone levels are now normal. (beams proudly at patient). It's now up to you and your husband to get pregnant.

Mrs X: Oh....

Doctor: Yes. Uh, how often do you and husband have sexual intercourse?

Mrs. X: About 10 times a month.

Doctor: That's about 2 - 3 times a week. Not too bad. Just keep on doing, what you are doing then.

Mrs. X: But doctor, I have no desire anymore! What do I do?

Doctor: (Although has always considered herself fairly open about sexual matters and can make sex jokes in front of her parents, suddenly finds herself flustered.) Well, uh, you do what you normally do... what you did when you first got married...uh, we don't have any female Viagra.

At that moment of time, Doctor could not think of any decent ways to suggest to patient on how to get herself off, what with Doctor herself hardly being an expert in the uh, practical department. A doctor does not need to have cancer in order to advise paients on the treatment of cancer, but you do understand, of course, that some things require some personal experience in order to talk about it without sounding like an idiot.
-----------------------------------------------
Setting: Labour room

Characters: One male doctor, one woman in labour

The scene: Tiny woman, with cardiotocography monitors strapped to her very pregnant belly, writhes about on the bed with the pain of each wave of contraction, kicking one of the nurses in the belly in the process.

Male doctor goes to see patient to gain consent for a Caesarean section. As doctor leaves patient' bedside, Woman in Labour says in high-pitched voice, "Ooh, that doctor's very handsome."

Now if only Woman in Labour would meet Mrs. X.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Is there a malay version of anne summers website?

Popular posts from this blog

Another S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. announcement

As a member of S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. (Society for the EXploitation of Yummy men in Film And Television) I feel obliged to do a run-down of top hunks that graced our (okay, my consciousness) in 2006. For the original S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. manifesto, please see Maryam's Guide To Everything Part 1. And no, I can't be bothered to review anything else in 2006 or make any resolutions because a) it's boring b) yeah, right, as if I'll change my ways c) this was way more fun My Top 3 Jensen Ackles (Jensen, you know it's me you want, not Maryam!) Jared Padalecki (Oh, alright, I'll have you instead) Jim Caviezel (aaaah, my blue-eyed Jim, why so sad? Is it because you are No.3?) Special Mention Guy Berryman (you are still yummy) Brandon Flowers (but only circa 2003 when he was sans eyeliner, mustache and gelled flattened hair) Paolo Nutini ( a bit too young for me but lovely all the same) Johnny Depp (the long time favourite, still going strong. You still float my boat Johnnayy! ...

May 2007's list

Books 1. I Am Muslim - DINA ZAMAN . No, don't go running off at the title because Dina Zaman's latest isn't going to preach/proselytise/ to you or urge you to leave your 'sinning ways' and repent. As Dina herself said, this isn't a book about religion, it's about a person who happens to be a Muslim trying to make sense and find her way amidst perilous Kuala Lumpur life. Sometimes, she's not even writing from a Muslim point of view (whatever that is) but from a thirty-something newly single woman just experiencing life and poking fun at it. It's rather a relief to me, that even someone like Dina, whose column Dina's Dalca I used to read as a teenager in the New Straits Times, is still searching and is still trying to find some semblance of order and meaning in today's world. Dina's humour is never nasty, nor despairing and the warmth of her anecdotes of the people she meets, no matter how bizarre, demonstrates her willingness to learn an...

The pimping of Supernatural

Sometimes I feel like I should obsess over something a bit more respectable, like reading my textbooks for instance, or jogging or raising funds for orphan kids. Alas, such respectability is beyond me now for my body houses a shallow mind, so I get excited over TV shows and an actor. (A hot actor, mind you). But then again, why is it not valid to enormously appreciate such things? The amount of work that goes into producing a good television series is surely nothing to sniff at, while acting convincingly is not as easy as it seems. Just look at the number of bad actors there are out there. Of course, obsessing over things is made easier nowadays with more young people with disposable incomes, the internet providing us with endless facts and figures about our latest obsession, as well as connecting us with fellow obsessees all over the world. Knowing people with similar interests validates your obsession and makes you feel less guilty over it. Plus having somebody scream in a girly-mann...