Skip to main content

I have joined the ranks of the unemployed

I got home from work last Thursday morning feeling as if a rat had crawled in my mouth and died. I had pulled over into a service station as I was too sleepy to make the drive home and woke up in the mid-morning sun feeling not much better. As I pulled off my stinking scrubs and socks and dumped it in the laundry basket, I realised, "This is it. I am officially unemployed." Technically speaking of course, I was officially unemployed on Wednesday morning since that was when my contract ended, but this one locum job had been planned for a few weeks so I felt that there was some sort of .... well, order to my life still. Plus, I was on shift with my fancy man, The Chain-smoking Man, so it was something to look forward to. Only he wasn't much joy, being grumpy and out smoking most of the night.

It probably would not be so worrying if there wasn't the whole visa thing as well. No work means no visa. So after nine years in this country, I have to uproot my entire life and go home. Do you know how many duvets I've collected in my time here? (I lived in student digs with no central heating.) I guess I don't have it as rough as some. Others have mortgages, car loans, kids in school and longer years of training gone to waste.

I had a moment of panic when I got home. The house was empty. My housemate was at work. One friend had upped sticks and moved to Plymouth. Another had moved to Manchester. One had gone to Australia. I was....... nowhere.

When I'm at a loss, I tend to stick my head in the sand. Alright, in a book. It has been my defence mechanism since childhood. Which is why in the past two months I have gotten through more novels than I have in the entire year. Which doesn't help of course, because the longer I put things off, the bigger my problems become.

I am chicken shit, I know.

My friend said that it sounds like I'm running away from reality. Fucking smug smart arse. I'll come and do a Zidane on you.

Bah! I'm going to go wash the kitchen towels.
Labels:

Comments

Kere said…
T-t-tolong D-d-datuk.

Chocolate?
09 August, 2006 14:26
Maryam said…
Mummer, you turd.
Thank you. Come again.
16 August, 2006 14:10
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Another S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. announcement

As a member of S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. (Society for the EXploitation of Yummy men in Film And Television) I feel obliged to do a run-down of top hunks that graced our (okay, my consciousness) in 2006. For the original S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. manifesto, please see Maryam's Guide To Everything Part 1. And no, I can't be bothered to review anything else in 2006 or make any resolutions because a) it's boring b) yeah, right, as if I'll change my ways c) this was way more fun My Top 3 Jensen Ackles (Jensen, you know it's me you want, not Maryam!) Jared Padalecki (Oh, alright, I'll have you instead) Jim Caviezel (aaaah, my blue-eyed Jim, why so sad? Is it because you are No.3?) Special Mention Guy Berryman (you are still yummy) Brandon Flowers (but only circa 2003 when he was sans eyeliner, mustache and gelled flattened hair) Paolo Nutini ( a bit too young for me but lovely all the same) Johnny Depp (the long time favourite, still going strong. You still float my boat Johnnayy! ...
9 comments
Read more

Avast!

I was at the Maritime Institute in Jalan Yap Kwan Seng waiting for my dad to come out of a seminar becauseI needed the keys to take his car for repairs and servicing. So there I was twiddiling with my handbag in the corridor when the doors of the seminar room opened and a whole bunch of fit men in tight, white Royal Navy uniforms came out. Hubba-hubba! Unfortunately, my dad came out at the same time and started talking to me. All I could do was stand there with MY DAD while all these hunksome sailors passed me by. BAH! They're all probably too old for me anyway.
8 comments
Read more

A letter to the makers of Supernatural

(Dean and Sam doing a Mulder and Scully) I watched the latest episode Night Shifter yesterday and I have got to say that, in American speak, it was totally awesome. Now, because I am not the most eloquent of writers and because my brain is half-man, I shall put my points across in a list. What I like about Supernatural so far: 1. The two brothers. Yum mee, keep those two brothers coming. Especially Dean. 2. The fact that Sam and Dean constantly take the mickey out of each other. 3. Dean's one liners. "I don't do shorts, sweetheart." 4. Dean, because he is so hot. 5. The fight scenes where they use everything they've got: guns, crossbows, knives, bare knuckles, head butts. 6. The things they hunt: demons, murderous ghosts, vengeful spirits, vampires, satanic preachers, backswood crazies, telekinetic murderers. 7. The beautiful, haunting cinematography. 8. For making classic rock cool again. 9. Sam's 'guilty conscience for surfing internet porn'. 10. A ...
10 comments
Read more