Saying sorry is a funny business.
Sometimes you don't even have to vocalise the words but you know you are forgiven. And vice versa.
The funniest apology happened between me and Flatmate. We are opposites in nature and from time to time we have our little tiffs. Most of the time it ends good-naturedly but on this one occasion, the argument blew up and we both stormed off to our separate rooms. I don't even remember what the fight was about - only that it was one of those stupid remeh-temeh fights that only people living in the same house can have.
So there I was, sitting at my desk by the window stewing with self-righteous anger at the injustices visited upon me by Flatmate. After about 15 minutes of taking vicious pleasure in being angry, my mobile phone beeped with a text message. It was from Flatmate, in the room next door, apologising for the fight we just had.
A puff of laughter escaped from my lips and all residual anger evaporated. Silly goose, I texted back, why are you texting me when we're right next door to each other. I could ask the same question to myself. I'm sorry too, I said.
I could hear her phone beep through the thin wall separating our bedrooms and knew from the sound of it that she was sitting at her desk too, which was against the wall like mine.
Several text messages followed where we affectionately took the mickey out of each other for being idiots and wusses. I could not stay angry at Flatmate for long. How could anyone when she so pandai jaga hati? There I was still sulking and unwilling to back down and Flatmate had the maturity to see the ridiculousness of our argument and be the first to mend things between us. That was the first time I was aware that I admired Flatmate for her bravery and her lack of ego and I felt humbled.
Over a week ago, I had lunch with a friend whom I hadn't spoken to for more than six years. We used to be good friends between the ages of 18 to 20. He and another friend were my steady compass in those first confusing years I was in England, and we used to write to each other every week. Regular phone calls were beyond the budget of a JPA scholar so we'd pour our angst, confusion, misgivings and anecdotes of our translocated English life into letters mailed with 19p second class stamps. Of course, you can't have a platonic relationship with a guy without our mutual friends nudging and winking each other and believing that we were more than just good friends. I ignored it and I thought he did too.
Fast forward to summer of 2000, the first year at university. My year-end finals were looming and I was half-comatose with a fever. Guy Friend calls up whining about something or other and I was short and testy with him. He hung up or I hung up, I can't remember. Just as I was drifting off into a feverish sleep, my phone beeps with a text message. There was a garbled message from Guy Friend, something about it didn't matter that I only thought of him as a friend now, but he will always wait for me to change my mind.
Confused and ill (not only from the fever), I put down the phone as I felt unable to deal with a bombshell like that. Some time later, I received another text from Guy Friend telling me to ignore his previous text message, that it was a mistake because he was all stressed about university and exams.
At this point, I was feeling angry. Stupid bugger, I was dying of a fever, which he has barely acknowleged by the way and now he's waffling on about his problems and what's that about that waiting for me rubbish?
I have to clarify at this stage that when I was twenty, I was a lot stupider and immature than I am now and I had zero social skills. I had only just discarded the notion that boys were weird, unfathomable creatures from planet Zorg sent to torture womankind when Guy Friend had to bamboozle me like that. Looking back at it, I also think I was angry at him, for spoiling things between us, for putting that unsaid question in the air when all I wanted was a friend. He had to stupidly ruin things and put his foot in it. I am rather ashamed to say, both of us ignored what had been said, pretended things were all hunky dory but in factany contact became less frequent, shorter and terser. Eventually, we let a three year friendship fall by the wayside.
In 2007, I come across Guy Friend at a mutual friend's wedding. He's married by now, to a girl I'm vaguely acquainted with. His wife could not attend. Guy Friend looked a bit nervous when he saw me, but by this time, I'm feeling, what the heck, that was donkey years ago, we were both young and stupid, water under the bridge, okay? I didn't actually say it, but I acted like it because a crowded wedding party isn't exactly the place to have a heart to heart is it? Besides my mum was there too.
When we finally met up for lunch a couple of weeks later, I was surprised when Guy Friend brought the subject up. He was clearly still uncomfortable about it because he looked constipated, and I don't think that was attributable to the curry he just had. To cut a long story short, we cleared the air and in a roundabout way, said we were sorry without actually saying we were sorry.
On a side note, I found out that Guy Friend thought I was seeing one of his friends that had previously stolen girls away from him and mistook me for someone who had a snogging session with said friend in Tesco. Huh, as if I would do such a thing. Guy Friend really does not know me. Tesco?!? No frigging way. If it was Waitrose, then yes.
Joke......... ok?
So the point is....... I knew I had a point when I started telling this story to my long time Agony Aunt and Budding Psycho-analyst. (He's kind of the Gay Best Friend, only he's not gay.) I think what I was trying to get at, was that I'm glad that I'm not so stupid and immature anymore and I learned to not have a such stiff neck about things. All this time staying at home with the parents and feeling like a child had sapped my confidence a little, what with close relatives telling me that I had regressed into adolescence.
Not-Gay-Best-Friend reassures me that in the ten years he' s known me ("God, has it been that long?" he squawks) , I have definitely improved in character and maturity. I could take it as him being sarky with me again, but thankfully for my self-esteem, he's sincere. Bless his little socks.
Sometimes you don't even have to vocalise the words but you know you are forgiven. And vice versa.
The funniest apology happened between me and Flatmate. We are opposites in nature and from time to time we have our little tiffs. Most of the time it ends good-naturedly but on this one occasion, the argument blew up and we both stormed off to our separate rooms. I don't even remember what the fight was about - only that it was one of those stupid remeh-temeh fights that only people living in the same house can have.
So there I was, sitting at my desk by the window stewing with self-righteous anger at the injustices visited upon me by Flatmate. After about 15 minutes of taking vicious pleasure in being angry, my mobile phone beeped with a text message. It was from Flatmate, in the room next door, apologising for the fight we just had.
A puff of laughter escaped from my lips and all residual anger evaporated. Silly goose, I texted back, why are you texting me when we're right next door to each other. I could ask the same question to myself. I'm sorry too, I said.
I could hear her phone beep through the thin wall separating our bedrooms and knew from the sound of it that she was sitting at her desk too, which was against the wall like mine.
Several text messages followed where we affectionately took the mickey out of each other for being idiots and wusses. I could not stay angry at Flatmate for long. How could anyone when she so pandai jaga hati? There I was still sulking and unwilling to back down and Flatmate had the maturity to see the ridiculousness of our argument and be the first to mend things between us. That was the first time I was aware that I admired Flatmate for her bravery and her lack of ego and I felt humbled.
Over a week ago, I had lunch with a friend whom I hadn't spoken to for more than six years. We used to be good friends between the ages of 18 to 20. He and another friend were my steady compass in those first confusing years I was in England, and we used to write to each other every week. Regular phone calls were beyond the budget of a JPA scholar so we'd pour our angst, confusion, misgivings and anecdotes of our translocated English life into letters mailed with 19p second class stamps. Of course, you can't have a platonic relationship with a guy without our mutual friends nudging and winking each other and believing that we were more than just good friends. I ignored it and I thought he did too.
Fast forward to summer of 2000, the first year at university. My year-end finals were looming and I was half-comatose with a fever. Guy Friend calls up whining about something or other and I was short and testy with him. He hung up or I hung up, I can't remember. Just as I was drifting off into a feverish sleep, my phone beeps with a text message. There was a garbled message from Guy Friend, something about it didn't matter that I only thought of him as a friend now, but he will always wait for me to change my mind.
Confused and ill (not only from the fever), I put down the phone as I felt unable to deal with a bombshell like that. Some time later, I received another text from Guy Friend telling me to ignore his previous text message, that it was a mistake because he was all stressed about university and exams.
At this point, I was feeling angry. Stupid bugger, I was dying of a fever, which he has barely acknowleged by the way and now he's waffling on about his problems and what's that about that waiting for me rubbish?
I have to clarify at this stage that when I was twenty, I was a lot stupider and immature than I am now and I had zero social skills. I had only just discarded the notion that boys were weird, unfathomable creatures from planet Zorg sent to torture womankind when Guy Friend had to bamboozle me like that. Looking back at it, I also think I was angry at him, for spoiling things between us, for putting that unsaid question in the air when all I wanted was a friend. He had to stupidly ruin things and put his foot in it. I am rather ashamed to say, both of us ignored what had been said, pretended things were all hunky dory but in factany contact became less frequent, shorter and terser. Eventually, we let a three year friendship fall by the wayside.
In 2007, I come across Guy Friend at a mutual friend's wedding. He's married by now, to a girl I'm vaguely acquainted with. His wife could not attend. Guy Friend looked a bit nervous when he saw me, but by this time, I'm feeling, what the heck, that was donkey years ago, we were both young and stupid, water under the bridge, okay? I didn't actually say it, but I acted like it because a crowded wedding party isn't exactly the place to have a heart to heart is it? Besides my mum was there too.
When we finally met up for lunch a couple of weeks later, I was surprised when Guy Friend brought the subject up. He was clearly still uncomfortable about it because he looked constipated, and I don't think that was attributable to the curry he just had. To cut a long story short, we cleared the air and in a roundabout way, said we were sorry without actually saying we were sorry.
On a side note, I found out that Guy Friend thought I was seeing one of his friends that had previously stolen girls away from him and mistook me for someone who had a snogging session with said friend in Tesco. Huh, as if I would do such a thing. Guy Friend really does not know me. Tesco?!? No frigging way. If it was Waitrose, then yes.
Joke......... ok?
So the point is....... I knew I had a point when I started telling this story to my long time Agony Aunt and Budding Psycho-analyst. (He's kind of the Gay Best Friend, only he's not gay.) I think what I was trying to get at, was that I'm glad that I'm not so stupid and immature anymore and I learned to not have a such stiff neck about things. All this time staying at home with the parents and feeling like a child had sapped my confidence a little, what with close relatives telling me that I had regressed into adolescence.
Not-Gay-Best-Friend reassures me that in the ten years he' s known me ("God, has it been that long?" he squawks) , I have definitely improved in character and maturity. I could take it as him being sarky with me again, but thankfully for my self-esteem, he's sincere. Bless his little socks.
Comments
Some people do say sorry way too easily though and it means shit.
ooh and the Tesco thing haha!
Oh and i gotta somewhat say sorry today too. dammit.
On another note, it's almost certain now that I'm gonna miss his wedding.. NO!!!!!!
(BTW I've not been watching SN's Season 1 conclusion - been travelling a lot these past weeks. Dah habis ke?)
Skiver, long time no see. Has all the dribbling over Dean put you off? :) I think there's still the finale next Tuesday on AXN. You must watch it because AXN is showing Season 2 immediately the week after and you can't watch Season 2 without at least seeing the ending of Season 1. Aiyo, you gonna miss NGBF's wedding? Both sides of it? He's not gonna be happy. Habisla you....
Maryam, it was the aisle with a lot of limp veg in it.