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The plot stops here

The downside of lending my mum my books is she always asks me the ending when she isn't even halfway through reading them yet. I get terribly agitated when she does this. I don't know why I get so worked up about it, it's stupid I know, but it's difficult to control my distress at her illogical behaviour. Especially when she does it in the car when I am already stressed driving around Morons & Their Metallic Weapons of Death.

My mum also never introduces her topic properly i.e. "You know in So-and-so book that you lent me, what happened to Mr. So-and-so in the end?" I could have been talking about the price of roti canai in KL when she jumps in about whether the lightflyer is like in The Stetsons.

She leaves me floundering in confusion while I dodge a Moron & His Metallic Weapon of Death who has cut across my lane before I figure out that she's talking about a book I lent her a week ago.

"You mean The Jetsons," I say.

"No, no, The Stetsons," my mum adamantly says.

"Ma, Stetson is a type of hat. The cartoon with the flying cars was called the Jetsons," I tell her.

"Oh."

More death-defying driving ensues.

"So, does Kareen marry Mark in the end?" she asks.

"Who?" I search my memory, which isn't too good nowadays. Have I got friends named Kareen or Mark? Maybe my sisters have? "Oh, you mean in the book. Uh, no."

"So, she marries someone else?" my mum asks.

"No, she doesn't."

"What, do they break up?" my mum persists in asking.

"Ma, why don't you just read the book to find out?" I was getting distressed at this stage.

"Why do you always get upset when I ask you the ending?" my mum asks in annoyance.

"I'm .... not.....I just......"

"You only have to answer 'yes' or 'no' to my questions."

"But that's the thing!! I can't! You're not asking me yes or no questions, you are asking me the plot of the story." I clutch at the steering wheel.

"So, do they break up?" my mum asks again.

"Nnnnngggg....no. They don't. They just stay together. They don't get married."

My mum hems and haws. You can see her mentally ticking Kareen and Mark off her list of Good People.

Wait till she gets to the part where a woman has a sex change operation. Hah.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Oh introduce Mama to Marian Keyes' Anybody Out There.

best chick lit i've evet read. I know she'll love it and plenty of mystery for her to try to get you to spoil for her.
Kere said…
She can get her own chick lit, for heaven's sake. What am I, some kind of dealer?

Ooh, someone's reading lurrve stories. I wonder why? Ha ha, nyer nyer.

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