Skip to main content

Bapak borek, anak rintik

Dad has finished that Playboy article he had been writing and has e-mailed it to his children for comment. When he says 'comment' he actually means 'praise' because it doesn't matter what you say, my dad never listens to advice. All the changes I recommended he make, he basically ignored, except for one sentence. One. Sure, he put in my recommendations while I was standing over his shoulder but he's erased nearly all of it. When I was correcting his essay, I pointed out several areas where he should break down his points into shorter sentences and use simpler and fewer words.

Dad grumbled and said that he can't do that, and that I don't understand that this is a technical essay and I don't understand technical stuff. Fine, I don't understand anything about fossil fuels and pollution indices but it does not matter because it is the grammar and clarity of your article that I am trying to mend.

"Look," I say, "you are not writing for your science boffins. You are writing for the lay person. Yes, your opening line is catchy and will reel your audience in but you will lose them by the end of the first paragraph. You are not getting your point across by being long-winded."

Dad mumbled something but it looked like he understood what I was telling him. Until I got the e-mail attachement and he so obviously has not.
Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
Some people would rather than listen to people other than those that care about them.
03 May, 2007 01:10
Kere said…
Do I detect a hint of bitterness?
03 May, 2007 03:07
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A letter to the makers of Supernatural

(Dean and Sam doing a Mulder and Scully) I watched the latest episode Night Shifter yesterday and I have got to say that, in American speak, it was totally awesome. Now, because I am not the most eloquent of writers and because my brain is half-man, I shall put my points across in a list. What I like about Supernatural so far: 1. The two brothers. Yum mee, keep those two brothers coming. Especially Dean. 2. The fact that Sam and Dean constantly take the mickey out of each other. 3. Dean's one liners. "I don't do shorts, sweetheart." 4. Dean, because he is so hot. 5. The fight scenes where they use everything they've got: guns, crossbows, knives, bare knuckles, head butts. 6. The things they hunt: demons, murderous ghosts, vengeful spirits, vampires, satanic preachers, backswood crazies, telekinetic murderers. 7. The beautiful, haunting cinematography. 8. For making classic rock cool again. 9. Sam's 'guilty conscience for surfing internet porn'. 10. A ...
10 comments
Read more

Another S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. announcement

As a member of S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. (Society for the EXploitation of Yummy men in Film And Television) I feel obliged to do a run-down of top hunks that graced our (okay, my consciousness) in 2006. For the original S.E.X.Y.F.A.T. manifesto, please see Maryam's Guide To Everything Part 1. And no, I can't be bothered to review anything else in 2006 or make any resolutions because a) it's boring b) yeah, right, as if I'll change my ways c) this was way more fun My Top 3 Jensen Ackles (Jensen, you know it's me you want, not Maryam!) Jared Padalecki (Oh, alright, I'll have you instead) Jim Caviezel (aaaah, my blue-eyed Jim, why so sad? Is it because you are No.3?) Special Mention Guy Berryman (you are still yummy) Brandon Flowers (but only circa 2003 when he was sans eyeliner, mustache and gelled flattened hair) Paolo Nutini ( a bit too young for me but lovely all the same) Johnny Depp (the long time favourite, still going strong. You still float my boat Johnnayy! ...
9 comments
Read more

There’s no need to be sad, it’s only bricks and mortar. I don’t do regrets.

This is the house that my family have lived in for the past 29 years. There were seven of us. It has had an interesting life, this house. It has been renovated and extended several times. Its roof leaks when the wind blows in a certain direction and when it rains hard enough. It has had rats, cockroaches and various small children poke holes in its walls. It has heard screaming matches and shrieks of laughter. It has been witness to torrents of tears, fits of rages, and fierce bouts of love. Its garden is a graveyard of cats, kittens, birds, lizards, snakes and assorted small animals. This was my home. This is our garden. There used to be a durian tree here which only bore fruit once in a blue moon, much to our family’s (and our neighbours’) disappointment. It was great for climbing though and it had a rickety swing which hung from one of its branches. Its life ended when it had to be cut down because its roots grew so huge that it cracked our front porch. There used to be a coconut tr...
9 comments
Read more